The Choir Sang Without Me

What a disappointment.
I spent hours practicing and memorizing our church choir's music. We were presenting a concert of Brooklyn Tabernacle songs.
Last Friday night we performed our Offerings Concert.
The soloists sang beautifully.
The orchestra played like they've never played before.
And the choir gave it their all.
Standing up there in the alto section, I felt a little queasy.
But I chalked it up to nerves, even though there was really nothing to feel nervous about.

We had two more performances of the Brooklyn Tabernacle songs on Sunday.
Saturday night I started to feel more than queasy.
In fact, I felt downright sick: terrible headache, sick stomach, and a body that felt like it had been run over by a truck.

So I missed singing on Sunday.
I know, I know...it's not the end of the world.

But for me, it was almost heartbreaking.
To work so hard on the music, attend all the rehearsals, encourage other singers...
and now this.
Why, Lord?

I guess my plans are not written in stone.
I need to keep a light grip on my belongings and my calendar.
And trust God, that He knows the beginning, the middle, and the end of my life.
He knew I wouldn't make that Sunday performance.
Couldn't He have given me a little heads-up about getting sick?
No, I guess He doesn't operate that way.

I think the Lord sees the significance of a performance as more than just the experience of singing in front of a crowd.
He delights in:

1. The act of rehearsing, of being with other singers, of listening to their testimonies, of praying for each other during practice,
2. Of giving glory to Him each day as I plunk out my part at my own piano,
3. Of meditating on the powerful messages contained in each song,
4. Of singing the songs for Him each day in the privacy of my home,
5. Of memorizing words that will stay in my mind and spirit for the rest of my life.

For me, the performance was the goal.
Perhaps in God's view, the preparation is the goal.