We All Want Connection

I volunteered to help teach the four and five-year-olds Sunday School yesterday.
There were three of us adults in the class, which was just about perfect, considering that each of these kids has a strong personality and tremendous energy.
A little later in the hour, two other kids arrived. The boy joined right in for the lesson. But the little girl—I'll call her Joni—proceeded straight to a table and climbed underneath.
We teachers welcomed her and invited her to join the group.
But she remained there for the duration of the lesson and song-time and nothing I said could induce her to leave her spot.
Which was a bit of a problem because she distracted the other children and some of them tried to climb underneath the table to join her.
After song-time I said, "Okay, it's time to wash our hands and get ready for snack time."
Immediately our little Joni jumped up and rushed to the head of the line for wash-up.
I helped her suds her hands and rinse and dry them.
She ate her graham cracker with gusto and quickly downed her dixie cup of water.

I sat down next to Joni as the craft items were place on the table
She dove for the crayons and stickers.
Hmm, this little girl sure fooled us. She had seemed shy when she entered the room.
"Can you write your name?"
She looked at me as if I were crazy.  Without a word, she deftly wrote her name at the bottom of her sheet of paper, then glanced up at me as with a cute but pugnacious thrust of her tiny chin.

She placed her stickers amongst the words, "Jesus loves me."
Then colored with a skillful hand.
Joni insisted that I sit nearby so I could see how well she was coloring.
She did color remarkably well.

After she finished the craft, I said, "Can you draw other things?"
"Of course," she said. "Wait till you see how well I can draw a horse."
She turned the sheet over and grabbed another crayon. "Now close your eyes and don't look until I'm finished."

When she was done she told me I could look. Sure enough, she'd drawn a very recognizable horse and even added a saddle and stirrups.
We spent the rest of craft time talking about My Little Ponies and I told her about my granddaughter's collection of My Little Ponies.

After the Sunday school ended, one of the teachers remarked, "Well, it looks like all Joni needed was someone to connect with."
Arriving late, Joni saw that we were already involved in an activity and found the area underneath the table a safer place to be.

I've seen this with grown people too.
Not that they hide underneath tables!
I work in women's ministries and have seen grown women arrive at a women's social, then turn around and go home if they do not quickly find an available table to sit at with women they already know.
But once they're safely situated, they talk and participate like old pros.
 Just like Joni.

Folks, let's turn our eyes outward and notice others.
It's so easy to only think about our own schedules and our own friends.

Look around. Is some person sitting all by himself at church? Go sit with him.
Who's that couple in the lobby at church? Go over and introduce yourself.

How about that nice family three doors down from your own house? Invite them over for lunch.
And if you are lonely, call somebody and invite them to do something together. Don't wait for somebody to call you. Make the first move. People will love you for it!

Everybody wants to be wanted.
Sometimes the connection is as simple as trading stories about My Little Pony.

"Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he had received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4: 7-10 NIV Bible)

Wednesday's Word (June 26)

Wednesday's Word:
I apologize for being late with Wednesday's word. I simply forgot to do it yesterday!

The word for today is:
vacuous, adjective
Pronounced vak-u-us
Definition: lacking expression, unintelligent, empty

Last week's word was umbrage.
"I take umbrage at your suggestion that I murdered my husband!"

Book Suggestions

I don't do this very often, but I've recently read three very interesting books from three very different genres.
If you're looking for some summer reading, may I suggest:

The Snow Child,
 by Eowyn Ivey, published by Little Brown and Company

If you love literary fiction, this fairy-tale take-off will captivate your imagination and your heart.
Set in 1920s Alaska, The Snow Child is about a childless older couple who are homesteading. Isolation, grief about losing a child years ago, dreary weather and the challenges of farming nearly crumple Jack and Mabel. But one evening they fashion a beautiful child out of snow. The next morning she is gone, but they begin to see a little girl running around near their cabin. Who is she and why does she seem to appear and reappear magically?


The Gift of Fear,
 by Gavin De Becker, published by Dell

This non-fiction book held me spellbound. It begins with the case study of a woman who'd been raped by an intruder but managed to escape being murdered by following her inner warnings.  De Becker says that we all have amazing powers of observation about our environment and the people in it which tell us to beware. But since we humans tend to ignore or rationalize away the signs, we fail to avoid dangerous circumstances.
Gavin De Becker is one of the nation's leading experts on violent behavior. In this book he will show you how to spot even subtle signs of danger before it's too late.

Candle for a Corpse, 
 by Marilyn Leach, published by Pelican Group
This is cozy murder mystery with Birdie Elliott (a kind of Murder She Wrote sleuth) as the adorable British vicar's wife/murder investigator. Leach's writing ensconces you within a charming English village populated by all sorts of unique and peculiar characters. As you turn the pages you'll feel as if you've been transported into Birdie's very British world of constables, vicars, lavender gardens and afternoon teas.

If you read one of these books, I'd love it if you would comment on my blog afterward!
Have a great day, and enjoy some time each day for reading.

Tuesday's (June 25) Thought

Tuesday's Thought:

"It's not the will to win that matters—everyone has that.
It's the will to prepare to win that matters."
Bear Bryant, football coach

What do you think?
I strongly agree with Bear.
As a music teacher, I see lots of students who want to sing or play like a superstar. But it's the rare student who has the discipline to prepare, practice, sacrifice leisure times, and study in order to really succeed as a performer.

Dust Yourself Off

I received scores from three judges for a writing contest I'd entered recently.
The first two judges loved my excerpt and gave me glowing scores and remarks.
The third judge hated everything about my piece. He/she couldn't even muster any constructive comments.
Third judge's score was a whopping 40 points (out of 100) lower than the other two judges.
If her low scoring had followed with constructive suggestions such as: "this paragraph needs an action beat," or "add more description of the environment in this section," I'd have received her evaluation with appreciation.
But, nothing.

So, I will chuck her unbelievably low scores.
I'll push my jaw back in place after it dropped to the floor for ten incredulous minutes while I perused this judge's low score.
And I'll dust myself off and "get back on the horse," so to speak.
I'll study what the positive judges said and put their advice into practice.

If I were a new writer, this negative and (non-constructive) evaluation would have really messed with my mind and heart.
I wonder if judges realize that their comments have the power of life or death over aspiring writers, even established authors.
This judge wrote his/her comments with a kind of "got-you" attitude.

But I've already published lots of articles and stories and devotions.
And last year I semi-finaled in a national writing contest.
I've got more publications coming out in the fall
and my literary agent is shopping out one of my novels.
And I have four more novels waiting in the wings.

I've experienced both rejections and acceptances and I'm getting used to the idea that the writing industry, just like the music world I used to live in, is fraught with emotional upheaval.
There's nothing new under the sun.

So it doesn't shock me so much when I see how subjective the evaluating of manuscripts can be.
And I don't take it personally. Well, not as much as I used to.

And the main reason I don't get so bent out of shape by a lousy evaluation is that God has called me to write.
So what is one fallible judge's opinion compared to the Lord of the entire Universe? 
Of course I have much more to learn in my craft. What writer doesn't?
But I won't let one little, negative evaluation thwart the plan that the Lord has for me to write stories that glorify Jesus and comfort and encourage readers.

So if you're reading this, still smarting from a similar negative evaluation at work, at church, in sports or the arts, at home, wherever, please don't let it stop you.
Get back up, take a big breath and ask God how this experience might teach you and make you a better person.
Only small people stay down.
Be big.
For God's sake, be big!


"Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning." (Proverbs 9:9 NIV Bible)

I Want Cherries!

On my last evening in San Diego, we went to Anthony's. It's a nice fish restaurant right on the wharf, sandwiched between tour ships and museums.
My almost four-year-old granddaughter, Kaya, especially enjoyed the little bowl of cherries that the waiter brought to help keep her from squirming as we adults finished our meals.
Actually, the cherries were supposed to be for everyone, but Kaya didn't know that.

 I savored the last spoon-fulls of chocolate mousse, and Wayne and Kiri shared a lemon cake that was supposed to have a bit of rum in the batter. I couldn't taste any rum in it at all, but Kiri insisted she could.
The waiter brought the check and while Wayne pulled out his charge card, we ladies took the two girls out to the front of the restaurant.
 
All of a sudden, Kaya began to wail, "My cherries, my cherries! I left my cherries in the restaurant."
By this time it was simply too late to go back to reclaim her remaining two cherries. We tried to explain to Kaya that after you leave the restaurant, the workers come to your table and quickly remove all the dishes and food that we left.

But Kaya wouldn't be reasoned with. She kept wailing about her cherries.
By this time, Wayne rejoined us and we walked along the sidewalk enjoying the sights and listening to the waves lap against the ships lining the wharf.
And still, Kaya kept up her lament. She sobbed, "I want my cherries," sniff, sniff, "I want my cherries."

Wayne and Kiri and I all tried to distract Kaya by pointing out interesting sights and by talking about plans for going to Disney Land.
I don't know what Kaya will grow up to be. But I do know that whatever it is, it will be the kind of job that requires intense focus and persistence.

My granddaughter kept up her plea for cherries all the way home, up the stairs, into the house, and even while being tucked into bed. "I want cherries."
What should have been a pleasant drive home became an exasperating half hour of listening to a alternately whining, then sobbing preschooler.

After the kids had been put to bed, we older folk chuckled about Kaya's persistence.
My granddaughter's intense pleas for "cherries!" reminded me of Jesus's parable of the unrighteous judge and the widow who kept coming to him for justice. (Luke 18:2-5)

Because the widow refused to give up and kept crying out to the judge, she eventually wore him down and he gave her what she sought.

Kaya didn't get her cherries, but she had the right idea about not giving up.
She's figured out what a lot of us grown ups haven't learned: don't give up.
If you want something enough, keep asking for it, or working for it, or pursuing it, and most of the time you'll get it eventually.
It may not be today, or tomorrow.
Eventually you'll get your "cherries."

But first ask yourself, "Is this "cherry" that I want a good thing?
If you're not sure, go to the Lord:

• Ask the Lord to help you discern if the thing you are focused on getting or achieving is pleasing to Him. (Sometimes, the "cherries" you desire are not what is best for you.
• Study the Bible so you know God's mind and heart.
• Commit your life to pleasing God. Submit to His answer even if the answer is 'no.'
• Pray every day and often..not just for what you want, but for God's blessings on others.

"In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!'" (Luke 18: 2-5 NIV Bible)

Sand

Kiri and I and the girls went to the beach yesterday.
It was the perfect San Diego beach day: 74 degrees, slight breeze, just enough to keep one from getting overheated under the bright sun, and not crowded.

Once settled on our plot of sand, the surf beckoned. Three-year-old Kaya and I frolicked in the waves, moving further and further out till the waves swooshed over our shoulders. ( Never fear, moms, Kaya was in my arms the whole time.)

Little Kira was more content to stay close to her mother on the beach towels.
Kaya and I returned, dripping and goose-bumped.
Then Mom took Kaya back toward the shore to look for sea shells.

One thing about sand: it gets everywhere.

No matter how careful a beach-goer is, those little grains get in your hair, your clothing, your food, your shoes, and onto your towels.

Some people don't like going to the beach for this very reason.

I say, go for it. Get as sandy as you want for a couple of hours. Immerse yourself in the sandy experience. Let the waves knock you over while tiny grains of sand invade your bathing suit.
Pour a bucket of water onto a patch of sand. Mix it in and then use your shovels and kid molds to make sea turtles and castle turrets.

Sand get in your mouth? Wash it down with a swig of bottled juice.
Under your fingernails? Run on down to the waves and scrub the sand out.
Sand in your ears? Well, you can shower it away when you get home.

the sand is like us

Whenever I sit in the sand and play with it I think of the Old Testament verses where God tells Abraham He's going to make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the grains of sand on the seashore.

I pick up a few grains and rub them between my fingers. They're rough and scratchy. But just one grain can irritate your eye and get in your mouth and set your teeth on edge.
Just one grain of trillions can do that.
Let that be a reminder to me that if I am one of Abraham's descendants, even I, a single grain of sand, can influence the world.

Just one tiny grain of sand.
Not that I want to be an irritant, like a grain of sand.
But sometimes, especially in these days of affluence and apathy, our culture needs an irritant—a tiny grain of sand—to spur us into movement.
To start being effective.

Do you think, when God spoke of Abraham's descendant, that He was already picturing each one of us, His children, and the role that we would play in our designated times and places?

"The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said. 'I swear by Myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore.'" (Genesis 22:15-17 NIV Bible)