So I had my MRI last Wednesday and still haven't heard from my doctor.
It's so very hard to wait, especially when you're in pain and want answers.
I brought a meal to a friend last Friday. She'd recently had her second hip replacement and she's only 40!
We spent about a half hour on the phone the day before I brought the meal. She told me that she'd been visiting doctors for almost nine years before she got a diagnosis she could wrap her arms around.
That's a lot of pain years.
So I shouldn't complain. It's only been three years for me.
But not knowing what causes the pain, or how long I may suffer with it is almost as frustrating as the pain itself.
If a doctor were to say, "You have a bulging disk at L264—"
(I know, I know I don't have that many vertebrae; it only feels like that)
"—and you should avoid bending, twisting and lifting. And here's my prescription for 6 weeks of physical therapy. After that you will be well on your way toward recovery."
If I knew what I was dealing with, it'd be much easier to be patient through the healing or therapy process.
God knows exactly what is going on inside my body.
But He isn't telling.
Because He is using time and circumstances to grow a Christ-like characteristic of perseverance.
Between each of these events, as I wait, I pray.
And as I pray, God encourages me and teaches me to trust Him.
Of course, I waver. I have private little tantrums from time to time about the waiting.
But would I learn so much about the Lord, would I trust Him as much if I didn't need Him daily because of my suffering?
Of course not.
Chronic suffering is one of his tools.
Suffering reminds me that I am human, weak, not as yet transformed.
Waiting makes me look upward...in hope.
Today at church I told a friend that each morning I take an imaginary box, containing all of my urgent requests, and raise my hands up to the ceiling, as if I'm handing it up to God. I say to Him, "There, Lord. It's yours. I have no power to effect any change. If you want it to happen, or change, or heal—or whatever— then You're the only One who can do it."
Our understanding of God's strength grows as we recognize our weakness and learn to wait for His answers.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James1: 2-4 NIV Bible)
It's so very hard to wait, especially when you're in pain and want answers.
I brought a meal to a friend last Friday. She'd recently had her second hip replacement and she's only 40!
We spent about a half hour on the phone the day before I brought the meal. She told me that she'd been visiting doctors for almost nine years before she got a diagnosis she could wrap her arms around.
That's a lot of pain years.
So I shouldn't complain. It's only been three years for me.
But not knowing what causes the pain, or how long I may suffer with it is almost as frustrating as the pain itself.
If a doctor were to say, "You have a bulging disk at L264—"
(I know, I know I don't have that many vertebrae; it only feels like that)
"—and you should avoid bending, twisting and lifting. And here's my prescription for 6 weeks of physical therapy. After that you will be well on your way toward recovery."
If I knew what I was dealing with, it'd be much easier to be patient through the healing or therapy process.
God knows exactly what is going on inside my body.
But He isn't telling.
Because He is using time and circumstances to grow a Christ-like characteristic of perseverance.
- He makes me wait for the appointment with the doctor.
- then I wait again for the diagnostic test.
- Now I wait for the doctor's report.
- And I hope for a diagnosis and a plan of treatment
- And last, I hope for an end to pain.
Between each of these events, as I wait, I pray.
And as I pray, God encourages me and teaches me to trust Him.
Of course, I waver. I have private little tantrums from time to time about the waiting.
But would I learn so much about the Lord, would I trust Him as much if I didn't need Him daily because of my suffering?
Of course not.
Chronic suffering is one of his tools.
Suffering reminds me that I am human, weak, not as yet transformed.
Waiting makes me look upward...in hope.
Today at church I told a friend that each morning I take an imaginary box, containing all of my urgent requests, and raise my hands up to the ceiling, as if I'm handing it up to God. I say to Him, "There, Lord. It's yours. I have no power to effect any change. If you want it to happen, or change, or heal—or whatever— then You're the only One who can do it."
Our understanding of God's strength grows as we recognize our weakness and learn to wait for His answers.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James1: 2-4 NIV Bible)
Dena, another gripping post. We're praying and eager to hear results too! xo
ReplyDeleteBeen praying for you two, also. Looking forward to seeing you soon!
ReplyDelete