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Some of my stories are published in:
A Cup of Comfort Devotional for Mothers and Daughters (Adams Media, 2009)
Chicken Soup: What I Learned from the Dog (2009)
Love is a Flame (Bethany House, 2010)
Extraordinary answers to Prayer (Guideposts, 2010)
Love is a Verb (Bethany House, 2011)
Big Dreams from Small Spaces (Group Publishing, 2012)

Monday, April 23, 2012

Quest for Significance

I had a great telephone conversation with my daughter the other day. She's expecting her second child any day now.
While we talked I could plainly hear my three-year granddaughter playing nearby. Kaya's  an extremely talkative, creative and dramatic little darling who loves to collect stuffed unicorns and play princess.
I had a short conversation with her, too.
"Hi, Kaya. this is Nana. Are you playing with your unicorns?"
"I'm a princess," she proudly declared.

For Kaya, being a princess is the highest position any girl can aspire to.
Princesses are beautiful.
They wear beautiful dresses,
And glittering tiaras,
And dainty, jewel-encrusted shoes.
They wave wands,
And give commands.
And everybody, everybody finds the princess captivating.

Look at me, Mommy. Aren't I beautiful?
Take a picture, Mommy.
I'm Daddy's special girl.

Kaya knows she is significant because her mommy and daddy give her lots of attention and affection and affirmation.

Kaya expresses in her three-year old way what we all secretly wish for:
To be somebody.
To be significant.

I wonder if we really comprehend how significant we are --each one of us-- to God.
Oh, I can acknowledge the truth of scripture: "for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. . . "
But do I really know it in a deep, experiential way?
Like most humans, I've learned patterns of behavior that reflect my insecurity. My sense that I don't matter. It's deeply ingrained.
Little hurts, some big ones, some scary experiences, some very sad times.
These have diminished my sense of significance.

I so want to be captivating to God.
He made me for His pleasure.
Do I really believe that?
I want my Father God to ooh and ah and applaud as I twirl before Him in my princess dress and my dainty shoes.
"You're beautiful, my special girl. I'll always love you."

If I were to try to reason out and believe my own sense of worth to God, I would always come up short. Because I cannot comprehend His love, or that it never ends, or that it is never withdrawn.
I am significant, not because of what I do, or say.
But because He has assigned me value.
And demonstrated it on the cross.

He is my significance.

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139: 15,16 NIV Bible)

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